Homeschooling Through Adversity

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Homeschooling Through Adversity

We have been at these crossroads several times in our 18 years of homeschooling.

1) Illness or death in the family
2) Special needs children
3) Financial concerns
4) Isolation, loneliness, lack of support
5) Location move or schedule conflicts
6) Burnout and discouragement

1 a) Death in the family
One of our then 4 children passed away. He was 3 1/2. He had been diagnosed with autism just 6 months before. We were homeschooling 2 of the other 3 children and the baby was 17 months old. I was overwhelmed at trying to consider homeschooling him with his special needs. One day, his little heart stopped and he was gone, to the arms of Jesus. We could not continue doing anything “normal” for awhile, even homeschooling the other children, so we simply stayed together and loved on one another and shared Scripture and G-d’s comfort. When we were able to put one foot in front of the other, I started homeschooling again, but it was very slow and only a few, non-stressful subjects. We tended to spend a lot of time in the Word, talking about Heaven (where Benjamin is) and sharing memories. I added some subjects, but we did them very loosely. The standardized testing that year was very good, it seems the children DID get their learning in, despite what we went through.

1 b) Illness in the family
In 2004, I was diagnosed with Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia and was in critical condition. I hovered near death for 5 weeks. In that time, my husband was by my side at the hospital (about 2 1/2 hours away from our home) and our eldest daughter, then 15 was left to homeschool the 2 younger children and take care of the home. She did a wonderful job, but it was hard on her, so much to deal with. A neighbor came and helped babysit and helped get some meals at first. Then, a wonderful homeschool mom of 4 offered to help out. Every other day my husband would take our children to this mom’s home on the way to the hospital and drop them off there. The mom would hs them and my hubby would pick them up late in the evening on his way home from the hospital. At the end of the 5 weeks, my daughter had to come and stay with me 24/7. So, during that time, the homeschool mom taught our children every day when my hubby dropped them off and picked them up in the evening. Again, the standardized tests from that year were good, again G-d taught them what I could not.

2) Special needs children
Our son Benjamin, as I wrote above, was diagnosed as Autistic 6 months before his death. We were VERY concerned about how to homeschool him, plus homeschool the other children. Had he lived, I believe this would have been a challenge to our homeschooling. I did start to gather resources on homeschooling special needs children and I know he would have been better off at home with US than in a strange place with strangers teaching him.

3) Financial concerns
My hubby was a County Sheriff’s Deputy and worked as a Detetive and one day while making an arrest, he was severely injured. He was unable to return to work and has been disabled since. So, our finances have taken a huge hit. Homeschooling is not cheap! We made it some years by using used curriculum that we bought at the used book sales. We got creative with learning and used as many free resources as possible. Our finances are an issue tight and we still have to be creative and use free resources whenever possible, but the children SO learn! We don’t have to have the latest, greatest, marketed curriculum, the basics are good! And we do get some good deals at the used book sales.

4) ) Isolation, loneliness, lack of support
We have homeschooled in: NC, Alaska, and West Virginia. We have felt isolated and lonely in all these places. In WV, we had NO support whatsoever and lived in a hostile area towards homeschoolers. YET, that was where the dear mom helped us out when I was in the hospital. G-d provided. In Alaska, we were so far out, again, we had no support and were very lonely and isolated, but we got through by making our family our support. When we came back to NC, we have tried to join the groups and sub-groups, but due to my continuing health challenges, we can’t go a lot of places. And now due to gas prices, we are forced to stay home more. AGAPE meetings and contacting other hsing parents helps me a lot, but we still need more involvement for our kids. We are not able to pay for these enrichment classes that are offered and travel is a hindrance. But, we are praying for more support and fellowship and believe G-d will make a way.

5 a) Location move
We have moved several times and across the country and back, while homeschooling. It is a challenge. But, we persisted and tried to make the new surrounding fun and a learning opportunity rather than give up. We did take some time off and focused more on learning through alternate means and I believe we did the right thing by continuing to homeschool even though we relocated. It would have been harder on the children if they had to change schools as well as states! At least by homeschooling, they had a foundation they could feel safe in.

5 b) Schedule conflicts
When my husband and I were working, sometimes we had to work 3rd shift. That made homeschooling near impossible. But it was because we tried to make our homeschool fit everyone else’s homeschool. We thought that if we weren’t up at 7 Am, Breakfast at 8 and in school by 9, we were failures. It wasn’t until I got sick and during chemo, the children and I wanted to stay up together and I could not get up in the mornings, so we all slept in and started school at 1PM. I dealt with years of guilt and feeling as if we were not schooling “right”, but it worked for us! We got through by putting our school on “second shift” and we all stay up late and get up late and start school about 1 PM. We needed to be flexible and make our homeschool work for OUR schedule, not try to make our schooling fit someone else’s schedule.

6) Burnout and discouragement
Through the trials of this life, both my hubby and I have been burned out on homeschooling and just felt we couldn’t do it anymore. Especially days when I was pretty much in bed. Again, G-d made the way. On those days, the children would come into my bed with me and we would read literature or discuss nature or other learning adventures. Sometimes we would watch science videos or have them read the Bible to me. We played rhyming games for language arts. We created “stories” for creative writing, but they were verbal, not written. I believe burnout is the one thing that keeps me questioning whether we will homeschool the next year, but I know that G-d is our provider and we (our family) must look to Him to give us the power to do what He has called us to do. Making a foundation statement of WHY we wanted to homeschool in the beginning (writing down all our reasons for homeschooling and our goals) is one thing that I keep coming back to. It would be easier I think to stop homeschooling, but I know G-d has called us to it and for the reasons we wrote down 18 years ago. Reviewing those reasons and looking to G-d for the strength has kept us coming back and walking in this endeavor unto His glory.

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